You can’t really be embarrassed unless somebody else is around to witness, right?

The other day, as I was walking up the stairs to my apartment, I missed a step and fell to a knee. It wouldn’t have been a big deal had I not dropped the drink I was carrying from Subway. It fell all the way to the ground and exploded in a rather dramatic fashion.

Root beer flew high into the air and the cup was totally annihilated.

People were around. I was a little embarrassed.

The point is, had there been nobody around, I wouldn’t have been embarrassed.

Lately, though, I’ve proved this theory wrong on several occasions. I’m completely embarrassed of the Seattle Mariners, and there’s nobody around to witness my embarrassment.

Just knowing that I’m a die-hard fan of the Mariners is a bit embarrassing. The group they’re running out there on a daily basis is absolutely ridiculous. One run per game. That’s what you can count on. Pretty much the only way a Seattle pitcher gets a win is if they don’t allow any runs. None at all. And then maybe they might get a win.

And, while I’m on the subject, let’s stop giving nicknames to terrible players. And if they already have a nickname from a time that they were actually good, let’s stop calling them by the nickname until they’re good again.

Every time Seattle closer David Aardsma comes into the game, Mariner’s play-by-play announcer Mike Sims boasts, “The DA is on the case.”

Aardsma is 0-6 with a 4.59 ERA. Enough with the DA gimmick.

OK, I’m done ranting.