The other day, as I was walking up the stairs to my apartment, I missed a step and fell to a knee. It wouldn’t have been a big deal had I not dropped the drink I was carrying from Subway. It fell all the way to the ground and exploded in a rather dramatic fashion.

Root beer flew high into the air and the cup was totally annihilated.

People were around. I was a little embarrassed.

The point is, had there been nobody around, I wouldn’t have been embarrassed.

Lately, though, I’ve proved this theory wrong on several occasions. I’m completely embarrassed of the Seattle Mariners, and there’s nobody around to witness my embarrassment.

Just knowing that I’m a die-hard fan of the Mariners is a bit embarrassing. The group they’re running out there on a daily basis is absolutely ridiculous. One run per game. That’s what you can count on. Pretty much the only way a Seattle pitcher gets a win is if they don’t allow any runs. None at all. And then maybe they might get a win.

And, while I’m on the subject, let’s stop giving nicknames to terrible players. And if they already have a nickname from a time that they were actually good, let’s stop calling them by the nickname until they’re good again.

Every time Seattle closer David Aardsma comes into the game, Mariner’s play-by-play announcer Mike Sims boasts, “The DA is on the case.”

Aardsma is 0-6 with a 4.59 ERA. Enough with the DA gimmick.

OK, I’m done ranting.

I’m stealing that idea.

Here is a tiny portion of the things that I love and the things that I hate.

I love:

Big Town Hero; Watching other people engage in awkward moments or conversations; A meaningful movie – one that after you watch it, you immediately know you watched something special; Sleeping; Tax returns; Cold beer after a long days work; Extremely arrogant people getting humilated; Laughing; Sneezing.

I hate:

Slimy, soggy noddles; Headaches; People who try to prove you wrong about something, even though its apparent they have no idea what they’re talking about; Auto-tune; Rich people who aren’t thankful for what they have; Bills.

Obviously, these lists can continue forever.

Actually, I do want to add one thing to the list of things I love: I love lists.

The most common reason is that all of the players are thugs who arent’ doing justice to the great game of basketball.

And maybe for a couple years around the turn of the century, this might have been the case. Maybe.

But the NBA of 2010 is thriving. You’re ignorant if you think the NBA hasn’t changed since the couple years post-MJ.

This Sunday is the league’s ultimate showcase. The All-Star Game will be played at Dallas Stadium. More than 90,000 people will be in attendance. It’s going to be quite the show.

So instead of giving more praise to the best players in the game, I’m taking a different approach.

Here is a list of my four least favorite players of all-time (really the past 15 years. I was 10 in 1995).

4. Ron Artest (Lakers). I was disappointed when Artest was signed by the Lakers, because I had always disliked him. Artest has always had a high level of arrogance. And I’m under the belief that you have to earn the right to be that arrogant. He hasn’t.

3. Anderson Varejao (Cleveland). This reserve forward is just a royal pain. It’s not fun to watch him flop, throw elbows and just constantly think of new ways to irritate people and slow down the pace of the game.

2. Latrell Spreewell (New York). The fact that he strangled his coach in practice gets him close to this list. His comment during a contract negotiation (“I have a family to feed”), brings him all the way to No. 2.

1. Robert Horry (lots of teams). Big Shot Rob. I have always disliked this guy with a passion. Somehow he has seven championship rings and John Stockton has none. That’s wrong. This sums up everything I feel about Horry.

Oh and this.

It’s been a good season, but it’s been a quick one.

It seems like only yesterday I was researching players for the purpose of fantasy football prior to the season starting. Now it’s three days from Super Bowl Sunday.

The conference championship games went as expected. I picked the Vikings (although it was the first time all season I picked a team that I didn’t really think was going to win).

Brett Favre robbed me of a Brett Favre Super Bowl. It would have been fantastic. But he had to roll to the right side of the field and throw across his body.

It was a prototypical Brett Favre interception. It would be an appropriate way to end his career (he is, after all, the all-time leader in career picks).

But he’s not going to retire. That, however, is another matter altogether.

So we have a Colts-Saints Super Bowl. It should be really entertaining.

I think it comes to down to this: There’s is nothing the Saints are going to be able to do to stop Peyton Manning from winning this game. Period.

Colts 34, Saints 31

Don’t rush out and get the newest exercise machine. And you don’t need to do 1,ooo crunches.

All you need to do is attend a State of the Union speech. President Obama delivered his first one last night.

Whenever he said anything positive, two-thirds of the people in attendance would clap, then stand, then continue to applaud.

Just as they were sitting back down, Obama would say something else that would warrant a standing ovation, and the folks would stand up again.

They had to have been sore following this speech.

Being the inspirational guy that he is, Obama had people standing, sitting, standing, sitting all night.

Here’s my question: Do we really need to give him a standing ovation every time he makes a statement during speeches like this?

I’m a big fan of standing ovations when they’re appropriate. But if you give someone 873 standing O’s throughout one speech, it kind of loses it’s intention.

It made it difficult to watch his speech.

Regular season: 172-84

There he is. The most important person in the NFL. The most talked about and criticized. And he’s one win away from the Super Bowl.

I think a lot of people expected Brett Favre to make the Vikings better. But I don’t think many expected him to do it the way he has.

Instead of a run-first, pass-when-they-have-to approach, the old guy is slingin’ it.

Adrian Peterson has not been the most important person of Minnesota’s offense since the first half of the season. It’s been the 40-year-old, gray-haired quarterback.

What all of this does is make for one of the most anticipated, entertaining NFC Championship Games in a long, long time.

Because the New Orleans Saints are ridiculous. The offense is just about as unstoppable as it comes, and the New Orleans crowd is off their rockers.

I’m expecting a touchdown frenzy. Long bombs all day long.

I picked the Vikings to reach the Super Bowl before the season started, so I’m sticking with it.

I do, however, understand that the Saints are the logical pick. I just want a Brett Favre Super Bowl so bad that I feel like I can will the Vikings to win.

Vikings 41, Saints 37

As for the AFC Championship Game, there shouldn’t be as much excitement. There’s no chance -NO CHANCE!- New York beats Indy. Won’t happen. Can’t happen.

A rookie quarterback just will not beat a Peyton Manning-led team playing as well as the Colts.

The Jets are getting a lot of attention, but just making it this far is way, way, way more than they could have hoped for.

Colts 31, Jets 13

Both games are on Sunday.

As a Seattle Seahawks fan, I’m not sure what to think of the recent coaching change. After just one season, Jim Mora has been replaced by Pete Carroll, who had a good run at the University of Southern California.

Admittedly, I like Carroll, but I also like Mora, and I think it’s unfair to send him packing after one season, especially considering how many key players nursed injuries throughout the year.

Ever since Seattle went to the Super Bowl in 2005, the Seahawks have reverted back to the old Seahawks.

I’m hoping they can get it together under Carroll, but it won’t change my opinion about Mora.

I correctly picked two of the four playoff games last week. I really thought New England was going to win and was just plain unsure about the Cincy-Jets game. Oh well.

Saturday

Cardinals at Saints: I think the crowd in New Orleans is going to be crazy. Just insane. They’ve played a factor in many big home games this season and I think they’ll do so again. Pick: Saints 44, Cardinals 36

Ravens at Colts: Indianapolis is Super Bowl-bound. There you go. Pick: Colts 37, Ravens 27

Sunday

Cowboys at Vikings. Through all the retirements and un-retirements and all the media love and media criticism, I like Brett Favre. I like him. He’s fun to watch. And the media circus that will inevitably follow him around the further he goes in the playoffs will also be fun. Pick: Vikings 33, Cowboys 28

Jets at Chargers: I have family that lives in San Diego. I’ve visited them three times and have had a wonderful time each trip. The only NFL game I’ve ever attended was between the Chargers and the Raiders. So I should like this team. But as long as Phillip Rivers is the quarterback, I just can’t. I don’t like the guy. That being said, there’s really nothing to like about the Jets. Pick: Chargers 34, Jets 13

Final regular season record: 172-84

I’m satisfied with my regular season record. I correctly picked two-thirds of the games and didn’t have a losing week all season.

In a column I wrote just before the season started, I made predictions for the season.

Let’s re-visit those:

“Kansas City quarterback (and career bench-warmer) Matt Cassel will have a disappointing season.” His 2009 stats: 2,924 yards, 16 TD’s, 16 INT’s, 55 percent passing, 69.9 QB rating for the 4-12 Chiefs. Yeah, I’d consider that disappointing.

“Houston will be this year’s surprise team.” The Texans missed out on the playoffs, but finished with a 9-7 record, their best finish in franchise history. There were several games throughout the season that they could have easily won. They could have finished at 11-5 and proved me 100 percent right. But they didn’t, and I’m just partly right. I’ll take it.

“Brett Favre will make the Minnesota Vikings better.” Although they’ve faltered as of late, the Vikings finished 12-4 and have a bye in the first round of the playoffs. Check.

“Fantasy football will become more important than actual football, at least for me.” My favorite team, the Seattle Seahawks, are in the crapper right now. And I won two of three fantasy leagues. So yeah, I’d say that was a correct prediction.

“New England will beat Minnesota 34-24 in Super Bowl XLIV.” We’ll see. Can’t say I still feel confident about it, but that’s my pick and I’m sticking to it!

Playoff picks:

Saturday

Jets at Bengals: Three of the four first-round playoff games are rematches from last week. That’s quite the coincidence. New York destroyed Cincinatti’s scrubs 37-0 last week and that can’t be any kind of confidence booster for the Bengals. Even so, they’re facing a rookie quarterback at home. Give me the Bengals.

Eagles at Cowboys: Both teams are 11-5, but the Cowboys are obviously the hotter team right now. I’m taking Dallas, but it wouldn’t surprise me if Philly wins either.

Sunday

Ravens at Patriots: New England’s playmaker, Wes Welker, was injured last week and is lost for the playoffs. That’s definitely going to be a factor, but I still see the Patriots getting the job done. I’m taking New England.

Packers at Cardinals: I like both teams. This is a complete guess. I’ll take Arizona, even though they play poorly at home.

I have some good news and some bad news. Both have to do with fantasy football.

I was in three leagues this season. I won two leagues and got third in another.

That’s the good news. The bad news? I’m likely going to get myself in trouble next year.

Because of the overwhelming success I had this year, I’ll probably play in somewhere around 10 leagues next year and have hundreds and hundreds of dollars on the line.

And if I don’t win, that would qualify as bad news.

But I’ll worry about that next year.

I went 10-6 with my picks last week (even though I forgot to post them on this blog. I posted them before the games were played on www.lebanon-express.com).

This is the last week of regular season games. It’s been a good one.

Sunday

Colts at Bills: Considering Indy will probably rest its starters for most of the game, I’ll take Buffalo at home to beat the Colts’ scrubs.

Jaguars at Browns: Cleveland is hot right now. It’s not something that is usually said about a 4-11 team. I’ll take them against Jacksonville.

Bears at Lions: Um, I guess I’ll go with Chicago and Jay Cutler’s three interceptions.

49ers at Rams: St. Louis has a chance to wrap up the worst record in the NFL this week and secure the No. 1 pick in the draft, so I don’t think they’ll want to screw that up by beating San Francisco. I’ll take the 49ers.

Steelers at Dolphins: If Pittsburgh makes the playoffs, I’m going to be upset. They’ve played terribly all year, yet still have a chance to grab a spot in the playoffs. I guess I’ll pick them to beat Miami, but I just don’t like them.

Giants at Vikings: Which Giants team are we going to see? Which Minnesota team? I don’t know anymore. I’ll take the Vikings, just because they’re at home.

Falcons at Buccaneers: Tampa Bay beat New Orleans last week. How?! I have to take Atlanta in this one.

Saints at Panthers: I wouldn’t be surprised if either team wins. But I need to make a pick. Give me the Saints.

Patriots at Texans: Is New England going to rest its starters? The outcome will be directly related to that question. I’ll say yes and pick Houston to win.

Eagles at Cowboys: Great game. I haven’t checked to see if this games means anything to either team when it comes to playoff positioning, but I hope it does. I have to go with Philly, who is playing really, really well right now.

Chiefs at Broncos: I want to thank Jamaal Charles for carrying my teams down the stretch of the fantasy football season. I have my eye on you for next year. But I’m taking Denver in this one.

Ravens at Raiders: I’ll take Baltimore.

Packers at Cardinals: Another good game. I’m pretty excited for the playoffs. My pick is Green Bay.

Redskins at Chargers: Washington is a mess right now. Why would they show up for the last game of the year? San Diego will win.

Titans at Seahawks: Seattle is the same position as Washington. Terrible, terrible team. Give me the Titans.

Bengals at Jets: Not sure about this one. I’ll take New York, I guess.

The defending Super Bowl champions are in one of the most embarrassing five-game losing streaks ever and, really, I couldn’t be happier.

There’s something about Pittsburgh that I’ve never liked. And it has nothing to do with the Steelers beating my favorite team, Seattle, in the Super Bowl a few years back.

I had to work that day, so I’ve never actually seen the game.

In the last five weeks, Pittsburgh has lost to the three of the worst teams in the NFL: Kansas City, Oakland and Cleveland last week.

This is a team that has already beaten San Diego, Minnesota and Denver this year. Strange.

I went 10-6 with my picks last week and have yet to have a sub – .500 week. Check out this week’s picks.

Thursday

Colts at Jaguars: Indianapolis has already secured home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, so they don’t have much to play for. Still, I think they’ll get past Jacksonville, but I expect a really close game.

Saturday

Cowboys at Saints: New Orleans’ home-field advantage is incredible. The team has unbelievable support from its city. I think that will help the Saints edge the Cowboys, who haven’t played well in December in a long, long time.

Sunday

Patriots at Bills: New England, my Super Bowl pick prior to the start of the season, isn’t looking too hot. They’re still in good shape to make the playoffs, but they have some weaknesses. Quite a few, actually. I‘ll take them against Buffalo, but nothing will surprise me anymore with New England.

Cardinals at Lions: After the way Arizona looked in its loss to San Francisco, I officially have no idea how they’ll play from week to week. I do, however, have to believe they’ll take care of Detroit. Give me the Cardinals.

Dolphins at Titans: The Titans are still fighting, but that 0-6 start is just impossible to come back from. I’ll take them against Miami, though.

Browns at Chiefs: I’ll take the Chiefs in this crappy game.

Texans at Rams: Another terrible game. St. Louis is a mess. My pick is Houston.

Falcons at Jets: Both teams still have minimal chances of reaching the playoffs, so at least both teams will be giving it their all. I’ll take Atlanta, but wouldn’t be surprised if this game goes either way.

49ers at Eagles: Philadelphia looked good against the Giants on Sunday, even though they gave up 38 points. I think they’ll beat San Francisco in this one.

Bears at Ravens: I like hating on Jay Cutler. It’s fun. I’ll take Baltimore.

Raiders at Broncos: I definitely like Denver in this one. I think Knowshon Moreno is going to have a breakout game. Maybe 140 yards and two touchdowns. I’ll take the Broncos.

Bengals at Chargers: San Diego looks likes its making its annual December run and I think they’ll continue to do so against Cincinnati. Give me the Chargers.

Packers at Steelers: Does Pittsburgh have any fight left? I say yes, but it won’t be enough to get past Green Bay. Pack is the pick.

Buccaneers at Seahawks: Seattle is terrible, but so is Tampa Bay. I’ll take the Seahawks.

Vikings at Panthers: Minnesota should win.

Monday

Giants at Redskins: This is another in a series of crappy Monday Night Football games. I’ll take New York because they can still make the playoffs.